Can Parenting Truly Be Equal?

Can Parenting Truly Be Equal?


Illustration by Barry Falls

In the comments about my sleep post yesterday, Stella wrote: “I think women need to be more firm in their expectations of their husbands … There’s no reason that women should tolerate anything less than a 50-50 partnership, children or not.”

Second Time Wife agreed: “If women can look around the house and see that the floors need to be swept, the laundry needs to be put away, the dishes need to be done, the homework needs to be helped with, and the lunches need to be made, then why can’t men? Why do we settle for partners that have to be constantly asked/nagged/reminded to do things?”

Nicky echoed: “My husband is very supportive (but note that the concept of ‘supportive’ means it’s still really my job), my kids are almost grown, I practically never watch TV, but I am still going from 5:30 AM until 11 PM. and then I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about all I have to do.”

And AJP declared: “Men should not sit around when women are doing household work, unless the roles will be equally reversed at some point and mom gets a chance to sit while husband does the work … I waited quite some time before I found a man I wouldn’t have to babysit and coddle and who would do his fair share as well (and I haven’t picked up the toilet brush or put away my own laundry for our entire marriage.)”

All of which means it is time for another discussion of “equally shared parenting.” READ MORE